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My 25th Year

I turn 25 in 1 month and 3 days. The older I get the more I realize that time flies by. It feels like just yesterday I was turning 21. If you would have asked me then I thought that I would have been a lot further, than what I am now. I get on social media and see people my age Already in the career they want, on their 2nd degree, buying their first house, married, on their 2nd or 3rd child and I have barely put my foot in the door to do what I want. The school system does not prepare you for real life. It doesn’t teach you how to fill out doctors’ papers, how to manage money (let me tell you I’m a spender and it’s a bad habit), how to build credit, how to buy a house, how to be a parent and that your mental health changes so much as you get older and after you have a child. My job is decent, but it’s not the job that I want. I am afraid to go after the job I want. I am already on the journey to it, but this fall will determine my career path and it scares me, because what if I did all this work not to make it? Then what If I start making it but it gets too hard, and I cannot finish? I am also scared that what if I do the wrong thing with my parenting? My child has my attitude and that is not a good thing. I am afraid that I will mess him up, what if he feels like I’m not a good mother? Well, I don’t want any more kids anyways, being a parent was not one of my top goals, but things happen, and I love him, and he pushes me to be a better person. Sometimes I think it would be great for him to have a sibling because me having my brother was a great part of growing up, but then I remember that it’s a lot of work and I get irritated fast, and I don’t think that he would like to have to share everything. That being said I feel like I have to do my best in raising him because for me I only have one chance. My love life is a whole mess, but for me, marriage is not that big of a goal and if it happens great, and if it doesn’t, I’m fine with that as well. I feel like sometimes I should be doing more for myself, as a mother, as an older sister, and more as a daughter. Then I realize that I am not a superwoman and sometimes it’s okay for me not to be great. I have to pull myself back from social media and realize that this is my journey through life. Just because some people are where they are doesn’t mean that I am behind. I will get to where I want to be it may not happen right at this moment, but it will happen. Here’s to year 25 may it be filled with blessings, lessons, and adventures.


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